Dancing When It Hurts

Tomorrow, my young friend Chris (not his real name) in New Jersey will move into a new room near his college, courtesy of my credit card and the offerings of a few friends I contacted to help. He may not spend his Christmas with a loving family, but he WILL spend it with a roof over his head and food to eat, because people can still be touched by the plight of one another, even in this self-centered day and age. When I call him Christmas morning, he will answer from under the covers of a warm bed instead of a freezing car seat. One less thing for him to worry about as winter quarter at his college looms up.

I don't write this stuff to aggrandize myself. I know almost no one is reading it. I write it because this is my journey, and one of the rules of my journey is that "it really is better to give than to receive."

People have become cold to each other. Closed to anything but their own sensations. Somehow, we have confused selfishness and isolation with independence and freedom. Why would we rather sit behind a computer and talk to strangers with a keyboard than to sit face-to-face with another human and engage in real conversation?

I think it's because having internet "friends" and trash-talking people we will never meet seems like all fun and games with no consequences. But there ARE consequences. I think we slowly forget to listen and to care about anyone but ourselves. We're too busy thinking up the next grand put-down or witty retort, or the next lie to impress "friends" we've never seen. We're not afraid, because we have internet anonymity to hide behind! No one can touch us, no one can hurt us.

Or help us.

Soon, when we look at the real people around us, they might as well be holding computer screen frames in front of their faces; they are little more real to us than the internet, and just as one-dimensional. The objects of our cruel humor, be it fat people or old people or religious people, cease being people in our minds at all. Everyone becomes a stereotype, orbiting around our narcissistic world.

I don't want to be lonely. I want to feel, even if sometimes it hurts. I want to engage people for real, to hear their point of view, to feel their emotions, to empathize with them. When my time here is done and I'm on my deathbed, I think a computer screen will be cold comfort. I want someone to hold my hand, to tell me they love me, to care about me as I take the next step into the unknown.

Maine shaker Joseph Brackett's quiet one-verse 1848 song "Simple Gifts" was expanded, and its hauntingly reticent tune changed into a powerful, moving anthem called "Lord of the Dance", by songwriter Sydney Carter in 1967. Other lyricists have added their efforts over the years, and when some of them are joined together, they become a simple, reverent code for life.

I danced in the morning when the world was young
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth
(refrain)

I danced on a Friday when the world turned black
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body, they thought I was gone
But I am the dance, and the dance goes on
(refrain)

'Tis the gift to be loved and that love to return,
'Tis the gift to be taught and a richer gift to learn,
And when we expect of others what we try to live each day,
Then we'll all live together and we'll all learn to say,
(refrain)

'Tis the gift to have friends and a true friend to be,
'Tis the gift to think of others not to only think of "me",
And when we hear what others really think and really feel,
Then we'll all live together with a love that is real.

(Refrain) Dance, dance, wherever you may be
For I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
I lead you all in the dance, said he

I know who the Lord of the Dance is. I believe He created this dance, our lives, for His own purposes, which one day we will be privileged to know. I think it has something to do with loving each other. And it seems that the simpler the tune He writes, the more majestic it becomes.

It's Christmas. Look around you. Find someone who needs it, and do something simple for them. Feel the power of selfless love.